Today’s post is written by our guest, Naomi Philips!
It’s called tying the knot for a reason!
Getting married is a big life decision that requires serious consideration and discernment.
To make that kind of decision, your heart, mind, and body all need to be in agreement that this is what you and your partner want for the rest of your lives.
Being married comes with plenty of ups and downs. From health to finances, to food preferences and likes and dislikes in everything from TV shows to decor, there are all kinds of compromises and considerations.
Being ready for marriage really means being ready for a lifetime of mutual collaboration and cooperation.
While it is normal to feel slightly daunted by the prospect of a “forever” relationship, it’s still important that you feel as ready as you can be before exchanging vows.
So how do you know when you’re ready?
This list will help you figure that out.
You Know Yourself Well
If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with another human for the rest of your life, you need to make sure you have a healthy relationship with yourself first.
Knowing your aspirations, positive traits, negative traits, emotional trigger points, and behavioral tendencies will help you make a more informed decision about who you want to share your life with.
For example, if you know yourself to be a very straightforward and consistent person, deciding to get married may be a more natural decision.
However, if you have unpredictable or impulsive tendencies, it might be a better idea to wait a while before committing to such a big life decision.
You’re Not Waiting For Each Other To Change
You might’ve heard the old adage before, “don’t date potential”.
What this phrase means is that staying with someone because you hope they will eventually become the perfect person is often an unwise and unfruitful idea.
Everyone changes over time, but you shouldn’t be putting a timeline on their evolution.
If your partner has certain ingrained behaviors or habits that you find problematic, don’t bank on the fact that you will be able to “make” them a better person in the future.
If you and your partner can love each other for who you are now and in the projected future, you’re far more likely to have a successful and happy marriage.
You Know Your Deal-Breakers And Essentials
In any marriage, it’s important to know where you draw the line on certain things – and what you know you absolutely need for the relationship to thrive.
For example, you might consider living an organized lifestyle a deal-breaker.
Communicating this need for organization to your partner will allow them to take your preferences into account and prevent tension from developing in future. Similarly, you might consider weekly date nights to be an essential part of your relationship.
Knowing and discussing things like this helps you and your loved one cultivate a clearer picture of what your marriage might look like, and be best equipped to help it thrive.
You Both Have Clear Life Visions
While it’s not necessary to have every area of your life mapped out, having a clear vision for the future can help you and your partner develop a better strategy for how to move forward.
After all, marriage is about being a team. And strong teams know their teammate’s next move.
From your career to your hobbies to your personal aspirations, understanding and communicating your ideal future is important for uniting forces and pushing each other to lead the healthiest, happiest life together possible. This kind of clarity informs both of you as to what to expect from married life.
You Can Take Care Of Yourself
This one might seem counter-intuitive because isn’t getting married about taking care of each other?
Well, yes and no.
Marriage may be a mutual effort, but maintaining a healthy level of independence and autonomous self-care will bolster your relationship and make it easier to maintain in the long run.
Over the years, there will undoubtedly be times when your partner is focused on other things and you are respectfully left to your own devices. Continuing to explore your relationship with yourself and trust that you can survive without them is a sign of a healthy relationship.
You’ve Discussed Your Wedding Plans
Your wedding can set the tone for your entire relationship as a married couple.
The process of planning, organizing, and throwing a wedding can be an extremely laborious and expensive affair. So, you want to make sure you’re both on the same page about how it will go down.
Some people like big, extravagant weddings. Others like small, intimate ones. Some people don’t like weddings at all. There are also family wishes, religion, and financial constraints to consider.
Don’t underestimate how much the process of wedding planning can affect your relationship. Remember to spend ample time openly discussing this important celebration together. While you’re at it, discuss your honeymoon too. If you have completely different ideas of what your dream honeymoon entails, you need to discuss this upfront and see if you can come to a compromise. After all, just like your wedding, your honeymoon sets the tone for your future together.
The Idea Of Commitment Excites You
When you think about spending the rest of your life committed to one person, how does that make you feel?
Does it inspire excitement and enthusiasm?
Or a sense of uncertainty and dread?
The emotions surrounding your response to this question can provide pivotal information about whether you are ready for marriage. As we’ve already mentioned, some feelings of nervousness are relatively natural, but they shouldn’t overpower all your other emotions.
If the prospect of lifelong commitment stirs up feelings of pleasure, excitement, comfortability and peace, chances are you are ready to marry your partner.
Ready For That Ring!
Perhaps it is unrealistic to say that you should feel 100% ready for marriage before you say “I do”.
After all, nerves are natural, and often, there is no perfect time to get married.
But what is realistic (and according to experts, what should be a necessity) is a sense of clarity and calmness about the decision.
Before making the choice to get married to your partner, it’s vitally important that you both have a deep understanding of who you are as individuals, and what your life will look like as a married couple. When this happens, you’re ready to put a ring on it!
You May Also Enjoy:
- 6 Things to Know Before Picking Your Wedding Cake
- How To Plan A Wedding On A Small Budget
- 10 Healthy Habits To Boost Your Mental Health
When it comes to being “ready for marriage”, usually no decision is the wrong one. It’s important to remember that deciding to get married is more than a box to check off. Being ready for marriage means being ready to devote your life to another person, and make compromises with them.
Yes, tying the knot is a big decision – one that takes serious consideration, but ultimately it should come down between yourself and your partner if you’re in agreement about wanting forever together. Marriage isn’t for everyone – and that’s perfectly OK!
It may take some time to feel certain of this important decision and the next steps should be taken cautiously with ample research (which our blog provides) when deliberating about tying the knot. Whatever you decide, make sure it comes from your heart, mind, and body in unison!
So why not join us as we experience the journey of marriage? As they say: forewarned is forearmed!
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